Most adoptive parents are well aware of the importance of talking to their children about their adoption story. However, even though they have all the necessary preparation, they still wonder how to properly go about it. It’s not an easy conversation, and it never will be regardless of the amount of preparation you have. That doesn’t mean you can’t go in with a game plan. Here are a few tips to help you talk to your child about their adoption.
Start Early
Most adoptive parents wonder when they should first have the adoption conversation with their child. Of course, if you adopt them as a baby, you can’t really have the conversation right away. You’ll have to wait a few years. As soon as they’re old enough to understand though, start discussing it. Make it a normal part of their lives. There’s no reason for them to be left in the dark about it, and by making it normal from the get-go you’ll likely save yourself loads of difficult conversations. Of course, it’s good to be age appropriate about the subject as well. If their adoption is a darker event, perhaps you’ll want to keep certain details hidden until they’re older.
Be Transparent
It’s normal for adoptive parents to feel hurt when their kids start asking about their birth parents. While it may come off as their desire for their birth parents, it’s also important to remember that this is a natural part of their development. They’ll want to know as much as you do, so try to be as honest as possible. Being open and transparent about your child’s adoption story will help them create an identity they can be proud of. However, secrets can also backfire, and they can prevent a child from developing a healthy self-esteem. It’s important to remember that your child will eventually grow up and they’ll be hurt if you keep certain details about their life secret.
Acknowledge That The Conversation Never Really Ends
Talking about adoption is a lifelong conversation that your child will have with you for the rest of their lives, and it’s important that you are open to discussing it even when they ask you. It can be hard at times, but it’s also important that you are willing to talk to your child about their adoption regardless of how they ask you. This is an important part of their family story, and it should be treated as such.